/ vendredi, août 13, 2004
I'm feeling the frustation...It's really amazing how i'f survived 15 over yrs with my brother...well, i just dunno why everytime i try to point out sumthing that he needs to correct, he flares up and says i'm no better...and the thing is i dun mind him saying where i go wrong, cos i'm the kind that will just shut myself up in the room when i know having a war of words with sumone like him isnt worth my effort...but he....firstly, he cant and always doesnt accept tat he's in the wrong...whenever we try and point out his wrongs that needs correction sooner or later, he shoots back at us by comparing our wrongs and his wrongs....like hello! i'm not the only one thinking like this...my mum shares the same sentiments as me too...i cant be sure when he'll ever change his attitude, but i definitely hope he'll change soon...i dunno why he's like this....maybe cos he's the eldest son, but hey he needs to respect me too cos i'm the eldest altho i'm a girl...sumtimes i just run to sum corner of the house n start to tear, only to be discovered by my cute lil sis who'll be wondering why her big sis who's almost 20 is crying...n sadly, i cant explain it to her cos she wouldnt understand anyway...at least not now when she's like only 2 yrs old...sigh...sumtimes i wonder how come i'm so different from this particular bro...he's just too weird for me to understand sumtimes...when one of his frens pointed out that me n my bro have the same eyes, i didnt know whether to be happy or not...cos i just feel that the unresolved differences tat we haf makes me feel eeky abt having similarities with him...to think we always went to the playground together when we were around the age of 10...to think we liked to play in the shower together when we were of kindergarden age...what has happened??? issit me trying to act smart every time cos i'm the eldest??? or issit him always insisting that he's right even when he's wrong??? or issit cos we get different amts of attention from our parents...maybe...cos i admit i do get a bit more attention from my dad than he does...but i didnt ask for it...and he being 17 shd be mature enuff to know that this shdnt be [if it is] the basis for always gg against me...man...i'm just rambling on and on without sequence...but i cant help it...i'm
frustrated...
I painted my dreams at
10:08 AM
