maybe...

well, I figured that this post may contain a lot of maybes so i titled it "maybe". the exam results were released just now, and as usual I panicked at the last minute. No feelings abt it yesterday. Only when I was invited to a group chat on MSN did I tense up for real. went to check it nevertheless, closing my eyes for abt 10secs before seeing it even tho i know the results had appeared on the screen. like watching horror movie! haha but anyway, I'm once again thankful for whatever grade that has been given to me. It's not anything fantastic, but I think it's pretty interesting. cos it's not everytime that you open your result slip, in this case the web browser, and see that nothing is different. in other words, there is no variety. one single grade replicated 5 times on the same result "slip". it looks boring but it's damn interesting. different thoughts, different levels of confidence, different materials. and each and every difference resulted in one single grade.

maybe it's a sign that I'm in balance. At least I don't fall out totally for any module. whatever that means[on 2nd thought, it probably meant at least I don't score like damn well for 1 or 2 modules at the expense of the remaining 3].

well maybe I'm one who does much worse in actual exams, no matter how I try to catch up.

Maybe I'm one who likes to write essays and do projects at my own pace. give me a deadline and I'll do it, my way.

Maybe 2-hr exams are not exactly for me, cos I take hours to think before I'm inspired to write. It's not an excuse for not doing well in exams but I just thought it may be the case. Cos I know I feel more comfortable working at my own pace, and every project done so far[except the EL project that I failed in sem 1] seems to prove it.

oh and what's more important is maybe I should stop hating politics. or any EU module for that matter. If I try, my effort will be rewarded. in some way or another. not just the final grade I get but the experience and knowledge I'll bring back with me from those lectures and tutorials. well, I'll just end off with this thought:

maybe there are better things to come in the future.